5 Day Advent of Songs – Day 4 AC/DC


Mistress For Christmas (M Young/A Young) – AC/DC 1990.

If you like your Christmas with hard-hitting rock’n’roll, AC/DC’s offering may be just the song. Mistress for Christmas was from The Razors Edge album which opened with the now classic Thunderstruck. The liner notes attest to the band maturing and yet still having a principal belief in hard liquor, cheap sex, fast money and the endless quest for a good time.

The production on this album was by Canadian rock producer Bruce Fairbairn, known for his work with Aerosmith and Bon Jovi, and it was the first time original band member Phil Rudd was not behind the drums, as he had been replaced by Chris Slade.

The band was as tight as any previous or later line-up with the driving force behind all AC/DC songs being that of Malcolm and Angus Young, as the band triumphantly returned to the raunchy, riffing, blistering, carnal rock of the early 80’s as Thunderstruck spearheaded the rapid ascent of the album up the charts. But it was Mistress For Christmas which clearly spelt out that the Young brothers would not be spending Christmas wishing goodwill on Earth and peace to all, unless it was about “having a piece on the side”, and getting a mention on Santa’s naughty list.

Angus and Malcolm had seen the tabloid headlines about businessman Donald Trump cheating on his wife Ivana with beauty queen/model Marla Maples, the daughter of an Elvis impersonator, who was so besotted with The Donald that she brazenly and shamelessly pursued him for several years, ignored the protests of Ivana who had married Trump in 1977, and borne him three childen (Donald Jnr, Ivanka, and Eric). Marla was desperate to catch her man, and actually carried a wedding dress with her every time she travelled with Trump, in case he decided to pop the question to her! She also agreed to an exploitive prenup agreement which excluded any alimony payments, and was disliked by Trump’s conservative parents because she had baby Tiffany out of wedlock. Below L-R – Donald with parents Fred and Mary; Donald and first wife Ivanka, Donald and Marla on their wedding day.

She was duly divorced by Trump six years after they were wed in 1993, The Donald had been unfaithful to her whilst she was pregnant, with Playboy Playmate Barbara Moore, and was squiring Melania Knauss, another model around town as well. She would become the third Mrs Trump and deliver baby Barron in 2005, while Marla had apparently been overly-familiar with one of Donald’s bodyguards. Below L-R Donald, Marla and baby Tiffany; Donald and Barbara Moore; Donald and Melania.

The Young brothers had plenty of material to work with when they penned this song, the lyrics were predictably risqué “I wanna ride on your reindeer honey/ And ring the bells/Love’em and leave ‘em and on with the show,” and with the exception of Christmas bells, and a spoken intro, it was as hard-hitting as any AC/DC song with its solid rhythm section and soaring interplay between Angus’s lead guitar riffs and Brian Johnson’s vocal dynamics. Mistress for Christmas may not be your average Christmas carol but it sure sounds good when you crank up the volume.

Elvis Presley used similar metaphors in his version of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town, but AC/DC were not as subtle and a little more threatening “Mistress for Christmas/I can hear you coming down my smoke stack/I wanna ride on your reindeer honey/And ring the bells”

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